This following information has been produced to offer suggestions as to how you can support your child with any concerns that they may have.
Emotions and Behaviours
Different emotions lead people to act in different ways. For example, when people feel low in mood or depressed, they often have poor motivation and struggle to get going. It is important to remember that lots of the behaviours we see are not children or young people being ‘lazy’, ‘not wanting to help themselves’ or just ‘wanting to pick a fight’ - but are actually signs of emotional distress. It's not uncommon for children and young people to have difficulties with talking about their feelings, this may be because they can’t put them in to words or that they don’t understand/process them themselves.
Common Feelings and Behaviours that can be Associated with Emotional Stress:
Feelings can include:
- Anxiety
- Worried
- Moodiness
- Depression
- Lack in confidence
- Numbness
- Hopelessness
- Low self-esteem.
Behaviours can include:
- Avoiding situations which cause anxiety
- Becoming restless, being ‘keyed-up’ or on edge
- Difficulty with sleeping/tiredness
- Losing or increasing their appetite
- Engaging in unhealthy, risky or harmful behaviours, such as drinking alcohol to deal with anxiety
- Limiting daily activities to reduce levels of anxiety, such as staying within the safety of their homes
- Becoming overly attached to someone or something and not wanting to leave them
- Experiencing panic attacks
- Experiencing low motivation in starting things or carrying them on
- Avoiding social events and activities
- Difficulty with speaking, thinking clearly or making decisions
- Difficulty with remembering or concentrating
- Becoming tearful
- Experiencing aches and pains without obvious cause
- Moving more slowly or becoming more restless and agitated
- Using alcohol, drugs
- Engaging in self-harming or suicidal behaviour.
Changes in a person’s usual behaviour can be a clue that someone is feeling more emotional or worried than usual. By observing behaviours, we can gain clues as to how someone might be feeling, even if they are unable to talk about it. Just as behaviours can give us clues as to how someone is feeling, changes in routine/activities can also help alter how someone may feel. For example, listeningtoclassical or relaxing music has been shown to help people feel less anxious and less depressed. By helpingyour child to do more positiveactivities, you will be supporting them improve theirmental wellbeing. Smallchanges in routine can have a big impact on overall wellbeing.
What can we do to help?
Below is a list of 5 areas of wellbeing which are known to improve emotional wellbeing. By encouraging your child to do a range of things in each area, you will be helping their wellbeing. Below are some examples of different acitvies which promote wellbeing, you may want to encourage your child to try one or you could use them as inspiration to come up with ideas of what will work best for you and your family.
Connect with others - strengthening relationships and feeling valued and close to others is good for wellbeing.
- Watch films or a box set with a friend or family member
- Share some funny YouTube clips with someone
- Just talk to someone in your home or on the phone, through SKYPE, FaceTime or similar
- Play a game or plan activities to do in the home with family
- Message a friend to ask about any activities they might be doing.
Stay active - being physically active, eating healthily and sleeping well all help to improve mental wellbeing and decrease anxiety and depression.
- Create a routine to do every day
- Plan a household schedule and agree how the household will run with everyone at home every day
- Create a rota or plan for household jobs and things that need to be done
- Do some physical activity in your home, stretch your arms and legs, do an online exercise class, dance to your favourite songs
- Clean a room in the house
- Get up at the same time each day and go to bed at the same time each night, avoid laying in all day.
Take notice - paying more attention to the present moment boosts wellbeing.
- Put your phone down and notice what’s around you
- Be close to nature, have pictures of nature around the house
- Use your 5 senses (sight, touch, smell, sound and taste) to experience the things around you
- Open the window to watch and listen to the animals and birds outside
- Grow some herbs or plants on a windowsill
- Try a new food and notice how it tastes, feels, smells
- Close your eyes and take in what you can hear
- Apprciate the nice things other people in the house do for you and tell them
- Download a mindfulness app and practice every day
- Listen to your favorite music
- Create a box containing activities which your child can use when they are feeling distressed or when they want to calm down. Pick items which use the 5 senses, such as colouring pens and pictures, stress balls, bubbles etc.
Learn - learning and seeking out new things stimulates the brain and helps contribute to wellbeing.
- Do something which gives a sense of mastery or skill
- Try something you’ve never done before
- Research something interesting to you
- Play a quiz with friends or family online or face to face
- Learn a new hobby
- Read a book
- Tidy or rearrange the furniture in a room
- Try cooking a new recipe.
Give - Acts of kindness, no matter how large or small, can increase happiness, life satisfaction and a general sense of wellbeing.
- Offer to pick up a neighbour’s shopping etc.
- Sort through your clothes etc and gather a collection of things you don’t want anymore to go to charity
- Offer to help someone do a task
- Bake a cake or cook a meal for someone
- Spend time with your pet e.g give it a cuddle, take it for a walk.
Useful Websites, Apps, Helplines and Resources
Togetherall: 24/7 anonymous access to a wellbeing platform togetherall.com. Students can get guidance from clinicians alongside a variety of self-help creative courses and psychoeducational materials.
The Mix Support service for young people and any difficulties or worries they may be experiencing. Contact Crisis Messenger: 85258 or visit their website themix.org.uk
Mind Shift app will help you learn how to relax, develop more helpful ways of thinking and identify active steps that will help you take charge of your anxiety. This free app includes strategies to deal with everyday anxiety, as well as specific tools to tackle:
- sleep issues
- dealing with intense emotions
- test anxiety
- perfectionism
- social anxiety
- performance anxiety
- worry
- panic
- conflict.
Catch It. Learn how to manage feelings like anxiety and depression with Catch It. This free app will teach you how to look at problems in a different way, turn negative thoughts into positive ones and improve your mental wellbeing.
SAM. This free app offers a range of self-help methods for people who are serious about learning to manage their anxiety.
The Young Minds Crisis Messenger text service provides free 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and need support, you can text YM 85258 to start the text. Young Minds has information and resources for parents and professionals. They also operate a parent helpline Monday to Friday 9.30am – 4pm, for any worries or concerns about a young person's behaviour or mental health under the age of 25. Helpline: 0808 802 5544 Website: youngminds.org.uk
NHS: provides a range of self-help materials: web.ntw.nhs.uk/selfhelp
Men’s Health Forum: men and boys, particularly those in the most disadvantaged areas and communities, can access the information, services and treatments they need to live healthier, longer and more fulfilling lives. menshealthforum.org.uk/more-about-us
Headspace: this website from Australia has a wealth of resources and videos for parents and caregivers of young adults age 12-25 years who have mental health concerns: headspace.org.au/family
National Self Harm Network: resources, advice, support forum: nshn.co.uk
Papyrus: UK charity for the prevention of young suicide (support for young people and parents/carers): papyrus-uk.org
National Bullying Helpline: information and support about bullying: nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk
Get Self Help: website with self help ideas on how to cope in distress: getselfhelp.co.uk
Kelty Mental Health Resource Center: numerous resources for parents and caregivers can be found at this website including a resource library and family toolkit: keltymentalhealth.ca
The Institute of Mental Health: an organisation seeking to help transform understanding and treatment of mental illness: institutemh.org.uk
Teen Health: this website helps parents care for their child’s ups and downs, from dealing with divorce to preparing for new siblings. Also provides information on how to understand your child’s behavior, whether it’s toddler tantrums or teenage depression: teenshealth.org/parent/emotions
Hub of Hope: provides a nationwide mental health database, which brings help and support together in one place no matter what you're going through: hubofhope.co.uk
Beat: support with caring for someone who has been diagnosed with an eating disorder: beateatingdisorders.org.uk/supporting-someone/support-for-carers
Kooth: free, Safe and anonymous support: kooth.com
